Lets talk about sin.
I want to talk about it, because it is something the Lord has laid on my heart so heavily these past few weeks. It seems that sometimes I forget my own depravity.
The simple fact is that we are born sinful - understand that this is something we cannot escape in this lifetime. The wretchedness and blackness of our hearts is limitless and unredeemable except by the blood of Jesus. Paul nails it down pretty clearly for us in Romans 7:14-20 stating, "For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want to do, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me." We are dark to our very core, the only ounce of goodness in us is Jesus - we have righteousness only through him, and apart from him we have nothing.
Sometimes we forget that our predisposition is to defame God. Literally our natural inclination, our human nature is to settle in darkness. Because of this, sin is something we have to make war with everyday. I want us, myself, to stop seeing sin as just the bad things we do, but rather as an idol that drastically effects our ability to live in the presence of God. Once the love of Christ is revealed to us we don't just get to go about our lives without having to deal with our sin anymore. No, in fact the adversity heightens and we meet with the schemes of satan literally daily, and if we are not aware of this, if we get too comfortable and don't face this fact consciously and head on - then satan gets victory.
Not only do we not want satan to get a small victory or gain a foothold in our life, but more importantly our sin keeps us from being able to commune with God. God hates sin, abhors it (Psalm 11:4-6). So if we sit, unrepentant in a sin, our relationship with Him is strained. If our ultimate goal as christians is to be Christ-like and be more like Him (Ephesians 5:1-2), than we would need to have an intimate relationship with Him to do so, right? You can't be like someone, if you don't know them well and if you aren't familiar with the things that make them who they are. Sin keeps us from developing that relationship with Him.
I have good news though, we don't fight sin on our own. The sweetest thing is that sin only has power when you are under law (which Jesus abolished by his death on the cross). Only when you think you are under contract or burdened by rules, rather than under covenant does sin have power. But, if you are under grace, you can begin to slowly defeat sin. It’s not a a paved highway, its a dirt road - and sometimes you crawl. The beauty of it though is that through the journey grace is your teacher and you received the perfect grade before you even began the class. The standing you have the minute you trust Jesus is the same standing you will have the minute you die - perfect, righteous, and blameless. If that truly penetrates your heart, when you fall, when you sin - you’ll run towards Him, not away from Him.
We fight sin by running to Jesus. We fight sin by realizing that it is not a battle to be won, but a war won and conquered for us long ago. Praise Jesus that grace is not only greater than all my sin, but also greater than all my so called "goodness". Both need redemption.
"And this is all my hope and peace
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
And this is all my righteousness
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
And oh, precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow
No other fount I know
Nothing but the blood of Jesus"
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Friday, August 24, 2012
The Art of Contentment
"Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." Hebrews 10:22-24
Lately I have been feeling really good about myself. Not the confident, self assured good but rather a prideful, put myself on a pedestal, think way to highly of myself kind of good.
It all goes back to the seven thousand people that get engaged and married on my facebook a day. Yes, yes, that may be a slight exaggeration but I just want the full extent of my exasperation to be understood.
Now before you stereotype me as one of the marriage hungry women realize that this little revelation didn't give me feelings of jealously, or fuel a fire of desperation to find a man and get married; quite the opposite actually. I got super prideful about the fact that being a suzy homemaker wasn't on my top 5 to do list, and somehow in my subconscious came to the conclusion that I had achieved some special level of contentment in my relationship with Christ. Whoo - how is that for prideful? And let's be real, pride is not attractive on anyone.
The Lord definitely gave me a spirit of independence, I love my freedom and I love not having to deal with the pressures of a relationship. But no matter how fulfilled I am in the love of Jesus I can't deny that the other part of me (the woman part that I like to ignore because she gets on my nerves) does truly desire a relationship and a godly marriage at some point. And it was like I felt the need to deny this part of myself, because somehow by admitting that desire meant I wasn't truly content.
That is a pretty skewed way of thinking.
The desire for a spouse, is a good and godly desire. It only becomes an issue when we let it get in the way of our present pursuit of Christ and let it morph into apprehension where we begin question if Jesus really knows what He’s doing. That never works out well. (been there, done that) Let's think about it this way, in the book of Matthew, Jesus straight up says that the love we have for our mothers, our fathers, our husbands, our wives, our friends...should pale in comparison to the love we have for Him. Not even pale really, He says it should look like hate. Which is intense, but it paints a picture of how seriously God takes our worship and adoration. Absolutely nothing else should take precedence over Him. Nothing. Yup, that means not even the desire for a relationship because even a desire can serve as an idol.
The bottom line is if you aren't completely in love with Jesus, and if every hole, scar, and insecurity isn't filled by Him, a marriage or relationship will do you no good.
Marriage is not an automatic problem fixer, we are not incomplete beings hoping to find completion in the perfect "soulmate" - we are whole beings made for God. True contentment is not conditional or based on circumstance, it comes from having Jesus. A relationship WILL fail if you place expectations on your man (woman) that only God can satisfy. They aren't your identity, Jesus is.
Lately I have been feeling really good about myself. Not the confident, self assured good but rather a prideful, put myself on a pedestal, think way to highly of myself kind of good.
It all goes back to the seven thousand people that get engaged and married on my facebook a day. Yes, yes, that may be a slight exaggeration but I just want the full extent of my exasperation to be understood.
Now before you stereotype me as one of the marriage hungry women realize that this little revelation didn't give me feelings of jealously, or fuel a fire of desperation to find a man and get married; quite the opposite actually. I got super prideful about the fact that being a suzy homemaker wasn't on my top 5 to do list, and somehow in my subconscious came to the conclusion that I had achieved some special level of contentment in my relationship with Christ. Whoo - how is that for prideful? And let's be real, pride is not attractive on anyone.
The Lord definitely gave me a spirit of independence, I love my freedom and I love not having to deal with the pressures of a relationship. But no matter how fulfilled I am in the love of Jesus I can't deny that the other part of me (the woman part that I like to ignore because she gets on my nerves) does truly desire a relationship and a godly marriage at some point. And it was like I felt the need to deny this part of myself, because somehow by admitting that desire meant I wasn't truly content.
That is a pretty skewed way of thinking.
The desire for a spouse, is a good and godly desire. It only becomes an issue when we let it get in the way of our present pursuit of Christ and let it morph into apprehension where we begin question if Jesus really knows what He’s doing. That never works out well. (been there, done that) Let's think about it this way, in the book of Matthew, Jesus straight up says that the love we have for our mothers, our fathers, our husbands, our wives, our friends...should pale in comparison to the love we have for Him. Not even pale really, He says it should look like hate. Which is intense, but it paints a picture of how seriously God takes our worship and adoration. Absolutely nothing else should take precedence over Him. Nothing. Yup, that means not even the desire for a relationship because even a desire can serve as an idol.
The bottom line is if you aren't completely in love with Jesus, and if every hole, scar, and insecurity isn't filled by Him, a marriage or relationship will do you no good.
Marriage is not an automatic problem fixer, we are not incomplete beings hoping to find completion in the perfect "soulmate" - we are whole beings made for God. True contentment is not conditional or based on circumstance, it comes from having Jesus. A relationship WILL fail if you place expectations on your man (woman) that only God can satisfy. They aren't your identity, Jesus is.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
End of a Chapter
The summer has finally come to an end!
I just want to thank everyone who prayerfully supported me as I answered the call the Lord laid on my heart for Colorado. I experienced so many beautiful moments, and I feel so blessed to have been His hands and feet this summer. God is at work in Colorado, slowly changing hearts and mindsets and it was so cool to be apart of that.
I saw dozens of children and adults come to Christ, I saw people who had nothing gain everything, and I saw the dead in spirit brought to life. I saw traumatized children that struggled, laughing. I saw once once-drunk, once-lifeless, once-lost people growing in a merciful, healing Father. I saw lives changed and I saw eternities changed. I saw family where there once was only loneliness. Sometimes I sit back and wonder why He chose me to witness all of it. Such a humbling reminder He is more than enough, and that He is all the adequacy we need. He didn't choose me because of Kali, He chose me because He can - because He was glorified in all of my weaknesses.
Colorado is considered an unreached people group, astonishing isn't it? An unreached people group right in our own back yard. Only 5% of people in Colorado are Christians, and over 90% have never stepped foot in a church. When I first heard those numbers I thought they were joking with me. Here in the United States, we have one of the biggest mission fields in the world. Your prayers are so needed.
Thank you for being such a huge part of my summer, and my ministry. I am so thankful for the people God so purposely placed in my life. I am looking forward to starting my senior year of college and taking all I learned this summer back to my campus. My good friend Meagen reminded me that my journey is not quite over - I have a whole student body that needs the love of Jesus. And that is the call I am picking up for this semester at NSU - to spread Christ in a loving, articulate way. Please pray for my boldness, wisdom, and discernment in that. I am certain that this is only the beginning of God's plan for my life - I humbly and patiently await for Him to reveal the rest of it to me.
"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. " Philippians 3:7-14
I just want to thank everyone who prayerfully supported me as I answered the call the Lord laid on my heart for Colorado. I experienced so many beautiful moments, and I feel so blessed to have been His hands and feet this summer. God is at work in Colorado, slowly changing hearts and mindsets and it was so cool to be apart of that.
I saw dozens of children and adults come to Christ, I saw people who had nothing gain everything, and I saw the dead in spirit brought to life. I saw traumatized children that struggled, laughing. I saw once once-drunk, once-lifeless, once-lost people growing in a merciful, healing Father. I saw lives changed and I saw eternities changed. I saw family where there once was only loneliness. Sometimes I sit back and wonder why He chose me to witness all of it. Such a humbling reminder He is more than enough, and that He is all the adequacy we need. He didn't choose me because of Kali, He chose me because He can - because He was glorified in all of my weaknesses.
Colorado is considered an unreached people group, astonishing isn't it? An unreached people group right in our own back yard. Only 5% of people in Colorado are Christians, and over 90% have never stepped foot in a church. When I first heard those numbers I thought they were joking with me. Here in the United States, we have one of the biggest mission fields in the world. Your prayers are so needed.
Thank you for being such a huge part of my summer, and my ministry. I am so thankful for the people God so purposely placed in my life. I am looking forward to starting my senior year of college and taking all I learned this summer back to my campus. My good friend Meagen reminded me that my journey is not quite over - I have a whole student body that needs the love of Jesus. And that is the call I am picking up for this semester at NSU - to spread Christ in a loving, articulate way. Please pray for my boldness, wisdom, and discernment in that. I am certain that this is only the beginning of God's plan for my life - I humbly and patiently await for Him to reveal the rest of it to me.
"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. " Philippians 3:7-14
Monday, July 23, 2012
Ready or Not...
"Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil — and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death." Hebrews 2:14-15
Joseph walked Mary on a donkey for over 90 miles in the scorching sun, the wind whipping around their faces and caking them with dust from the dirt road. The stable is packed with different farm animals. Flies are buzzing around them, and the air is heavy with the stench of manure and sickly sweet hay. And into this, a baby enters - Jesus. And when this baby was born into nothing, with parents who were mere children themselves, God fulfilled every promise and every prophecy - all in His perfect time.
He made himself to the very least with no status or opportunity, so that He can commune with us. The very least so that He can meet with the very most desperate: you and me. He doesn’t mind that I might not be ready yet and He doesn’t mind the wretched condition of my heart or the blackness of my sin. God’s time is now and He enters into the mess - our mess, ready or not and His timing is perfect.
What a God we serve.
This week has been tough on Colorado, the summer even tougher. We have experienced some of the most destructive forest fires in this nations history, and then to top it off we have a witnessed one of the most senseless acts of violence this country has ever seen. I live 10 miles from the fires and 30 minutes from the shooting, I feel as though I am at the core of this suffering and my heart is broken. Broken for the lost, broken for the suffering, broken for those who seek comfort but can find none. And more than all of these, my heart is broken for the afflicter.
From these tragedies, arise so many questions. Why did this happen? Why does God let these bad things happen? What was the reason for this? Why why why? It's in these times that I don't feel ready, and I feel like I don't have the adequate words or answers to comfort people. And I don't feel ready to be a missionary, or to work in ministry.
But then I remember a time when I wasn't ready to surrender to Jesus, I remember when I wasn't ready to move to Colorado, I remember when I wasn't ready to share my testimony with people, I remember when I wasn't ready to lead someone to Christ, or convey my beliefs, I remember when I wasn't ready to let go of unhealthy relationships, I remember when I questioned everything, and I when I wasn't ready to give up MY plans and MY dreams. And than I remember that never, not even once, was I truly as ready as I had wanted to be. And I remember that God has kept and fulfilled every last one of His promises, every single one, in His perfect time. He says follow me, and He leads - He does not falter. We don't have to be ready, He has been ready for us since the beginning of time.
God's purpose is perfect.
God's purpose is sovereign.
God's purpose prevails.
I can feel God moving in this place, using me and using others - bringing light from former darkness. I know He will take all these messes, and use them for His glory and divine purpose. Colorado needs your prayers. Pray that Aurora feels His touch - pray that Colorado feels His touch. Lord we need you now.
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
Joseph walked Mary on a donkey for over 90 miles in the scorching sun, the wind whipping around their faces and caking them with dust from the dirt road. The stable is packed with different farm animals. Flies are buzzing around them, and the air is heavy with the stench of manure and sickly sweet hay. And into this, a baby enters - Jesus. And when this baby was born into nothing, with parents who were mere children themselves, God fulfilled every promise and every prophecy - all in His perfect time.
He made himself to the very least with no status or opportunity, so that He can commune with us. The very least so that He can meet with the very most desperate: you and me. He doesn’t mind that I might not be ready yet and He doesn’t mind the wretched condition of my heart or the blackness of my sin. God’s time is now and He enters into the mess - our mess, ready or not and His timing is perfect.
What a God we serve.
This week has been tough on Colorado, the summer even tougher. We have experienced some of the most destructive forest fires in this nations history, and then to top it off we have a witnessed one of the most senseless acts of violence this country has ever seen. I live 10 miles from the fires and 30 minutes from the shooting, I feel as though I am at the core of this suffering and my heart is broken. Broken for the lost, broken for the suffering, broken for those who seek comfort but can find none. And more than all of these, my heart is broken for the afflicter.
From these tragedies, arise so many questions. Why did this happen? Why does God let these bad things happen? What was the reason for this? Why why why? It's in these times that I don't feel ready, and I feel like I don't have the adequate words or answers to comfort people. And I don't feel ready to be a missionary, or to work in ministry.
But then I remember a time when I wasn't ready to surrender to Jesus, I remember when I wasn't ready to move to Colorado, I remember when I wasn't ready to share my testimony with people, I remember when I wasn't ready to lead someone to Christ, or convey my beliefs, I remember when I wasn't ready to let go of unhealthy relationships, I remember when I questioned everything, and I when I wasn't ready to give up MY plans and MY dreams. And than I remember that never, not even once, was I truly as ready as I had wanted to be. And I remember that God has kept and fulfilled every last one of His promises, every single one, in His perfect time. He says follow me, and He leads - He does not falter. We don't have to be ready, He has been ready for us since the beginning of time.
God's purpose is perfect.
God's purpose is sovereign.
God's purpose prevails.
I can feel God moving in this place, using me and using others - bringing light from former darkness. I know He will take all these messes, and use them for His glory and divine purpose. Colorado needs your prayers. Pray that Aurora feels His touch - pray that Colorado feels His touch. Lord we need you now.
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Perfect Imperfections
"I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life." 1 Timothy 1:12-16
A new month = a new adventure! On Sunday July 8th, we began working with another church plant in Loveland, Colorado called Elevation Church; I pretty much fell in love with Elevation about 5 minutes after walking in. There is a warmth and love for Christ there that is so tangible, it kind of makes you never want to leave. The staff immediately made us feel apart of the team, and have already started to really pour into us. This month is going to be great, I can already tell! :)
A new month = a new adventure! On Sunday July 8th, we began working with another church plant in Loveland, Colorado called Elevation Church; I pretty much fell in love with Elevation about 5 minutes after walking in. There is a warmth and love for Christ there that is so tangible, it kind of makes you never want to leave. The staff immediately made us feel apart of the team, and have already started to really pour into us. This month is going to be great, I can already tell! :)
One thing I have really learned from church planting thus far, is the importance of meeting people wherever they are. Too often as a church we project perfection, not purposely, but rather as an attempt to meet an inaccurate standard of what we deem as adequacy. We forget how important it is to be vulnerable, because that means stepping out and letting our guard down. But vulnerability is such an awesome tool to connect with people, because when they see the imperfections, the struggles, and the mistakes they see something they can identify with. Sometimes we forget that we really aren't suppose to have all together with the perfect job/family/home/friends/car; the fact of the matter is, if we did have it all together we would have no need for salvation because we would be capable of manufacturing it ourselves.
Since coming to Colorado, I have seen people from some of the most broken pasts doing major things for the kingdom. They faced trials that I couldn't even comprehend conquering, and came out as fearless disciples of Christ. The reality is that we are going to hit bumps in the road, and we are going face adversity but even our lowest of lows are redeemable and useable through Christ. He makes the imperfections perfect. Romans 5:3-5 calls us to rejoice in our adversity because adversity produces perseverance, perseverance produces character and character produces hope. And hope in the Holy Spirit never fails us. God can use our nothings and our mistakes and put them out front for everyone to see to call others to Him. We just have to let go of our pride and pursue humility. We were chosen, predestined, designated and called; not just for grace through salvation but to be vessels of Christ. You know the saying..."Let Go, Let God."
I can't wait to see how God moves this week. We have several kids camps coming up for Elevation, and God has placed a few special people in my life that I'm hoping will be drawn closer to Him. Be praying for the Holy Spirit to move!
I can't wait to see how God moves this week. We have several kids camps coming up for Elevation, and God has placed a few special people in my life that I'm hoping will be drawn closer to Him. Be praying for the Holy Spirit to move!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Living God's Love
"Since you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For the old you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:1-3
I am so excited, happy, amazed, overjoyed, thrilled, delighted, ecstatic...okay you get the point. Now let me tell you why.
I am so excited, happy, amazed, overjoyed, thrilled, delighted, ecstatic...okay you get the point. Now let me tell you why.
For the past 3 weeks we have been working on a preview for The Pursuit Church's All Star kids games which is July 9th-13th. The preview was basically a free one day event where kids got to come and play soccer, football, basketball, make crafts, and more importantly hear about the love of Jesus. We had almost a 100 kids show up, and in a 3 hr time span 17 kids gave their life to Christ. 17 kids that come from all walks of life and backgrounds now have a basic understanding of the gospel, and of what true, unconditional love actually means. These kid's lives have radically changed, and the affect that they will have on their own friends and family will be immeasurable.
One little girl in particular that I got to coach (I was the soccer coach of the camp) caught my eye and my heart. She was one of the first to raise her hand after the devotion to say that she wanted Jesus to come into her heart. After one of the counselors explained what that meant and they prayed together she made her way over to the bench beside me. She then proceeded to plop down with a huge sigh, and look at me with a frustrated scowl on her face. I asked her what was wrong and after a huff and a few more sighs this is what she said: "I prayed that prayer to Jesus and stuff and they said He is in my heart now and all my bad stuff is forgiven. But does he know I hit my brother last week? Cause my mom said thats real bad and I dunno if Jesus will forgive that. Do I have to do extra stuff for that one?" I immediately explained that all her past and presents mistakes are forgiven - even the really, really bad ones. She was relieved, and I couldn't help but laugh as she skipped off towards her friends.
I sat there pondering the implications of her words, because although her innocence was precious, she voiced something many people struggle with: Am I clean enough for God? Am I too far gone for redemption? Am I really forgiven? The reality is that Jesus covers all of our sins and all of our mistakes so that we don't have to be clean enough. He doesn't even wait to call us after we get our act together...He calls us to Himself right in the middle of our sin. (see Mark 2:14-17) How can we even question this gift? Every time we do it's like we are standing at the foot of the cross, staring up at Jesus telling him that what he did isn’t quite going to cut it. We let our insecurities reign over us and we just can't seem to let go of the guilt our past mistakes have born. We are staring this King in the face & telling him that DYING for us isn’t quite sufficient enough. We keep letting the burdens of our past reappear as if they hold some value, when in actuality they mean nothing, and are worthless in the face of Christ.
I reflect on my own life and know that I am guilty of this, and that makes me want to fall on my face in shame. I’ve done it - I do it all the time. We get so caught up in our own selfishness and doubts that we distract ourselves from the simple, pure, beautiful point of it all. His grace is sufficient for us and His sacrifice was enough. We HAVE to rest in this, because if we can't even accept His boundless love for ourselves personally, than we can't even begin to show His love to others.
One little girl in particular that I got to coach (I was the soccer coach of the camp) caught my eye and my heart. She was one of the first to raise her hand after the devotion to say that she wanted Jesus to come into her heart. After one of the counselors explained what that meant and they prayed together she made her way over to the bench beside me. She then proceeded to plop down with a huge sigh, and look at me with a frustrated scowl on her face. I asked her what was wrong and after a huff and a few more sighs this is what she said: "I prayed that prayer to Jesus and stuff and they said He is in my heart now and all my bad stuff is forgiven. But does he know I hit my brother last week? Cause my mom said thats real bad and I dunno if Jesus will forgive that. Do I have to do extra stuff for that one?" I immediately explained that all her past and presents mistakes are forgiven - even the really, really bad ones. She was relieved, and I couldn't help but laugh as she skipped off towards her friends.
I sat there pondering the implications of her words, because although her innocence was precious, she voiced something many people struggle with: Am I clean enough for God? Am I too far gone for redemption? Am I really forgiven? The reality is that Jesus covers all of our sins and all of our mistakes so that we don't have to be clean enough. He doesn't even wait to call us after we get our act together...He calls us to Himself right in the middle of our sin. (see Mark 2:14-17) How can we even question this gift? Every time we do it's like we are standing at the foot of the cross, staring up at Jesus telling him that what he did isn’t quite going to cut it. We let our insecurities reign over us and we just can't seem to let go of the guilt our past mistakes have born. We are staring this King in the face & telling him that DYING for us isn’t quite sufficient enough. We keep letting the burdens of our past reappear as if they hold some value, when in actuality they mean nothing, and are worthless in the face of Christ.
I reflect on my own life and know that I am guilty of this, and that makes me want to fall on my face in shame. I’ve done it - I do it all the time. We get so caught up in our own selfishness and doubts that we distract ourselves from the simple, pure, beautiful point of it all. His grace is sufficient for us and His sacrifice was enough. We HAVE to rest in this, because if we can't even accept His boundless love for ourselves personally, than we can't even begin to show His love to others.
Redemption is one of the sweetest things I have experienced in this life. As humans with a finite minds, the concept of grace and redemption are hard ones to wrap our brains around. We forgive but with limits, and we love but with conditions. God breaks chains, and He has no limits or conditions. God looks at us in all of our mess and brokenness, and tells us that once we are truly surrendered to Him nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:38-39). Not because of anything we do, I mean we can't even save ourselves let alone keep ourselves saved, but because of grace and eternal, blissful, unbounded love.
Being Christ-like is the pinnacle we reach for. That being said, God doesn't call us to be perfect, because let's be honest - that ain't happening. But He does call us to love like He does, forgive like He does, and extend mercy like He does. I challenge all of us as believers to be imitators of Christ - Loving like God does, means meeting people in whatever brokenness they are in, and loving them with an agenda free, pure love that is not tainted with judgement. Let every word and action point to Him. Let us be completely saturated and consumed by our Savior. Our days are numbered. Our lives are short. Our clock is ticking. How will you use your life to glorify His name?
Being Christ-like is the pinnacle we reach for. That being said, God doesn't call us to be perfect, because let's be honest - that ain't happening. But He does call us to love like He does, forgive like He does, and extend mercy like He does. I challenge all of us as believers to be imitators of Christ - Loving like God does, means meeting people in whatever brokenness they are in, and loving them with an agenda free, pure love that is not tainted with judgement. Let every word and action point to Him. Let us be completely saturated and consumed by our Savior. Our days are numbered. Our lives are short. Our clock is ticking. How will you use your life to glorify His name?
Live His Love.
All Star Kid's Preview Day
Sunday, June 24, 2012
The Gift of Servitude
"...know the God of your father and serve Him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought..." 1 Chronicles 28:9
I cannot believe I have already been in Colorado 3 weeks now; you know the age old adage, "time flies when you're having fun", well go ahead and insert that here! This week has been awesome, not only for serving but for some intense personal growth. I started out the week grilling burgers/hot dogs with my partner Gabby for over 130 people for The Pursuit Church's Sunday service in the park. Sounds easy right? Think again! To my future husband: I will never take you, nor you're grilling skills for granted!
Gabby did the math and between buying all the bbq stuff, getting all of it to the park, and then actually cooking we spent over 9 and 1/2 hours on this project. At first I found myself getting very frustrated. It was hot, the smoke was stinky, and we miscalculated on some of the food items. Grumpy Kali started to make an appearance, and here I'm suppose to be a summer missionary - I should be exuding rainbows and sunshine! But about half way through cooking all of the food people started coming up and thanking us, and expressing how grateful they were and how good the food was. People were genuinely touched at the time and effort we put in, and it was in that moment I was able to see that servanthood comes in many different shapes and sizes.
It is not always as tangible as we like it to be, or as grand. The smallest acts are just as important as the big ones. For me, I had this preconceived notion of what living missionally entailed. It's pretty silly when I actually think about it. Who am I to tell God where and how I will serve?! How naive and entitled of me. The reality is that I personally am not going to change hearts, Jesus is - and there is more to give then pretty words and grand gestures. The size of the immediate impact is not relevant, even the smallest acts are SO important.
I love those moments of revelation, because I know that they are God given. Sometimes He’s subtle in His encouragement and guidance. Sometimes He's uncomfortable and abrupt in His will. With my stubborn spirit it would not be a typical day if I didn’t question my faith and obedience to the Lord or try to push bouandaries at least a dozen times. I feel like those are natural thoughts for anyone striving to know Christ more, love Christ more and trust Christ more. There's this huge, common misconception that Christians have some supernatural grasp on their faith and their walk with Jesus. But the reality is, the more you think you have figured out, the less you probably know. Christianity isn't meant to be comfortable and “figured out”. It's a faith of overwhelming humility and neediness; it reminds us how little we have figured out, and it reminds us how desperately we need Him.
We, as believers, are called to be the body of Christ. His hands. His feet. His love to a lifeless world. People don't need to simply hear about that love, they need to see it and feel it and know it's real. I can finally see and recognize that one of the coolest ways to show this love is in the simple, menial, and every day tasks. Servitude is gift, that not only glorifies Christ but also refines our hearts to be more like Him. So thankful for what God has revealed to me! His grace and understanding never cease to amaze me.
The biggest prayer request I have is for Gabby and I to be very sensitive to the Holy Spirit and what He is trying to show and grow in us daily. Whoo, God is GOOD. Love you all!
I cannot believe I have already been in Colorado 3 weeks now; you know the age old adage, "time flies when you're having fun", well go ahead and insert that here! This week has been awesome, not only for serving but for some intense personal growth. I started out the week grilling burgers/hot dogs with my partner Gabby for over 130 people for The Pursuit Church's Sunday service in the park. Sounds easy right? Think again! To my future husband: I will never take you, nor you're grilling skills for granted!
Gabby did the math and between buying all the bbq stuff, getting all of it to the park, and then actually cooking we spent over 9 and 1/2 hours on this project. At first I found myself getting very frustrated. It was hot, the smoke was stinky, and we miscalculated on some of the food items. Grumpy Kali started to make an appearance, and here I'm suppose to be a summer missionary - I should be exuding rainbows and sunshine! But about half way through cooking all of the food people started coming up and thanking us, and expressing how grateful they were and how good the food was. People were genuinely touched at the time and effort we put in, and it was in that moment I was able to see that servanthood comes in many different shapes and sizes.
It is not always as tangible as we like it to be, or as grand. The smallest acts are just as important as the big ones. For me, I had this preconceived notion of what living missionally entailed. It's pretty silly when I actually think about it. Who am I to tell God where and how I will serve?! How naive and entitled of me. The reality is that I personally am not going to change hearts, Jesus is - and there is more to give then pretty words and grand gestures. The size of the immediate impact is not relevant, even the smallest acts are SO important.
I love those moments of revelation, because I know that they are God given. Sometimes He’s subtle in His encouragement and guidance. Sometimes He's uncomfortable and abrupt in His will. With my stubborn spirit it would not be a typical day if I didn’t question my faith and obedience to the Lord or try to push bouandaries at least a dozen times. I feel like those are natural thoughts for anyone striving to know Christ more, love Christ more and trust Christ more. There's this huge, common misconception that Christians have some supernatural grasp on their faith and their walk with Jesus. But the reality is, the more you think you have figured out, the less you probably know. Christianity isn't meant to be comfortable and “figured out”. It's a faith of overwhelming humility and neediness; it reminds us how little we have figured out, and it reminds us how desperately we need Him.
We, as believers, are called to be the body of Christ. His hands. His feet. His love to a lifeless world. People don't need to simply hear about that love, they need to see it and feel it and know it's real. I can finally see and recognize that one of the coolest ways to show this love is in the simple, menial, and every day tasks. Servitude is gift, that not only glorifies Christ but also refines our hearts to be more like Him. So thankful for what God has revealed to me! His grace and understanding never cease to amaze me.
The biggest prayer request I have is for Gabby and I to be very sensitive to the Holy Spirit and what He is trying to show and grow in us daily. Whoo, God is GOOD. Love you all!
Summit of 11,428 ft at the top of Twin Sisters Peak
Sunday service in the park!
Gabby and I playing monoply with some new friends!
Saturday, June 16, 2012
"I'll Play The Background"
Here we are, ending another week in Colorado! I started officially working with The Pursuit Church (TPC) on Monday; it has been such a privilege to get to see exactly what goes in to making church plants a reality. Every person involved invests so much physically, mentally and spiritually. The first day with them was spent hanging up flyers around town for a kid's sports camp that TPC is putting on, and for those of you who have never done that...IT IS HARD! When people would see that it was being sponsored by a church, the reactions were almost always extremely wary, and I would have to spend the next 5 to 10 minutes laying on the charm a.k.a begging! So that was a learning experience! The rest of the week was spent in the office mostly just figuring out the ropes and the behind the scenes stuff. My partner Gabby and I got this weekend off to go out and explore the town. We both feel a huge call to be relational while we are here, and to find people to love on! We have been searching and searching with no luck, but finally when we were able to step back and surrender to God and His will, and He led us to TWO people in one night.
That leads me to the biggest thing that has been laid on my heart this week, God's sovereignty. Even though I like to think that my plans and my ideas are pretty spectacular, His are always better. When it boils down to it, I don't know why I even think my ideas have any worth. 2 Corinthians 3:3-5 says "Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God." So basically even the good stuff that comes from me is worthless without Jesus, and life works so much better when we are able step back and let God take the leading role.
The importance of "being still" and letting God guide our lives is unequivocal. I think many of us live our lives with ourselves at the forefront of our motivation. Many of us approach our days with the idea that we are the masters of our own universe, the captains of our own ship. And while we say we trust His power, we still consciously and subconsciously clench tight to the steering wheel and base our decisions around our own understanding and our own perceptions of life. The reality though, is that we are less in control in those times than ever. When we surrender to Jesus, He takes us in the palm of His hand and says, "let Me guide you." Without Him, yes, we may be the ones driving, but we are driving blindly. How is that control? We are at our best when we are able to depend fully and confidently in Him. We are at our best, when He is in the leading role and we are in the background.
We serve a God that is so much bigger, grander, and mightier than we will EVER be able to comprehend. We serve a God that cannot be boxed in. We serve a God that has no boundaries, no limits, and no chains We serve a God that cannot be exaggerated. And we serve a God whose love and mercy for us is so great, that He offers us the ability to host the Spirit of grandeur within ourselves through His son, Jesus Christ. It is overwhelming, and it is hard to comprehend, but we don't have to comprehend it, we just have to rest and abide in it!
I have a few prayer requests this week: First for those of you who don't know there is a huge wildfire (3rd largest in history) that has been about 10 miles from us for about a week. Please be praying for all the families and businesses that have been affected! Also please pray for the two people I mentioned earlier, and the friendships we are starting to build. And lastly please pray for our awesome church planters, pray for strength and energy because they give 150 percent everyday. Thank you for ALL the love and support!
“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” –James 4:8
That leads me to the biggest thing that has been laid on my heart this week, God's sovereignty. Even though I like to think that my plans and my ideas are pretty spectacular, His are always better. When it boils down to it, I don't know why I even think my ideas have any worth. 2 Corinthians 3:3-5 says "Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God." So basically even the good stuff that comes from me is worthless without Jesus, and life works so much better when we are able step back and let God take the leading role.
The importance of "being still" and letting God guide our lives is unequivocal. I think many of us live our lives with ourselves at the forefront of our motivation. Many of us approach our days with the idea that we are the masters of our own universe, the captains of our own ship. And while we say we trust His power, we still consciously and subconsciously clench tight to the steering wheel and base our decisions around our own understanding and our own perceptions of life. The reality though, is that we are less in control in those times than ever. When we surrender to Jesus, He takes us in the palm of His hand and says, "let Me guide you." Without Him, yes, we may be the ones driving, but we are driving blindly. How is that control? We are at our best when we are able to depend fully and confidently in Him. We are at our best, when He is in the leading role and we are in the background.
We serve a God that is so much bigger, grander, and mightier than we will EVER be able to comprehend. We serve a God that cannot be boxed in. We serve a God that has no boundaries, no limits, and no chains We serve a God that cannot be exaggerated. And we serve a God whose love and mercy for us is so great, that He offers us the ability to host the Spirit of grandeur within ourselves through His son, Jesus Christ. It is overwhelming, and it is hard to comprehend, but we don't have to comprehend it, we just have to rest and abide in it!
I have a few prayer requests this week: First for those of you who don't know there is a huge wildfire (3rd largest in history) that has been about 10 miles from us for about a week. Please be praying for all the families and businesses that have been affected! Also please pray for the two people I mentioned earlier, and the friendships we are starting to build. And lastly please pray for our awesome church planters, pray for strength and energy because they give 150 percent everyday. Thank you for ALL the love and support!
“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” –James 4:8
My partner Gabby and I!
The view from our backyard of the High Park fire. Scary stuff!
Waiting to help out with the TPC Youth Group.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Got Altitude?!
I LOVE COLORADO. There is a 98% chance I am going to stay here forever. Just kidding, but really.......
I have only been here 4 days and already my love for this place runs deep. It's crazy how when God calls you to a country/state/city/people group the connection is immediate. My heart and passion for these people and this place is unlike anything I have ever experienced before. I am more confident then ever that God brought me here with a divine purpose, and that every single circumstance and every single phase we find ourselves in, throughout our lives, is perfectly constructed by God to be used for His glory.
One of the coolest things is being able to see God in every direction you turn, from the snowcapped mountains to the glistening lakes to the tall pines. His craftsmanship is evident. I have never felt more in the palm of my Creator's hand then I have this week, He is sharpening and preparing me in way I could never of imagined. The people placed in my life since getting here have been the biggest blessings. I have been loved on, encouraged, and uplifted since day one and I am LOVING it. I feel as though I have been here forever, not just 4 days.
We will be working with an awesome new church here called The Pursuit Church for the next month, and tomorrow we finally get to go out and start serving. We will be distributing food to the homeless children of Ft. Collins. There are over 900 homeless children in this area; the number is heart-wrenching and I cannot wait to serve and love on them in any way I can. One of the hardest things is picturing a child without a home, the injustice of it burns down to my core. If there is any way to alleviate any of their hurt or discomfort it will truly be an honor for me. Pray, pray, pray for these precious little ones, that not only they find the homes they deserve but that they will find a love that is never failing through Jesus - a love that makes broken things whole again, and brings peace where there was none. It's going to be a great weekend. Thanks again for all of y'all's support.
This is a picture I took my first night here. I get to look at this all summer :)
"Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there." Matthew 19:13-15
I have only been here 4 days and already my love for this place runs deep. It's crazy how when God calls you to a country/state/city/people group the connection is immediate. My heart and passion for these people and this place is unlike anything I have ever experienced before. I am more confident then ever that God brought me here with a divine purpose, and that every single circumstance and every single phase we find ourselves in, throughout our lives, is perfectly constructed by God to be used for His glory.
One of the coolest things is being able to see God in every direction you turn, from the snowcapped mountains to the glistening lakes to the tall pines. His craftsmanship is evident. I have never felt more in the palm of my Creator's hand then I have this week, He is sharpening and preparing me in way I could never of imagined. The people placed in my life since getting here have been the biggest blessings. I have been loved on, encouraged, and uplifted since day one and I am LOVING it. I feel as though I have been here forever, not just 4 days.
We will be working with an awesome new church here called The Pursuit Church for the next month, and tomorrow we finally get to go out and start serving. We will be distributing food to the homeless children of Ft. Collins. There are over 900 homeless children in this area; the number is heart-wrenching and I cannot wait to serve and love on them in any way I can. One of the hardest things is picturing a child without a home, the injustice of it burns down to my core. If there is any way to alleviate any of their hurt or discomfort it will truly be an honor for me. Pray, pray, pray for these precious little ones, that not only they find the homes they deserve but that they will find a love that is never failing through Jesus - a love that makes broken things whole again, and brings peace where there was none. It's going to be a great weekend. Thanks again for all of y'all's support.
This is a picture I took my first night here. I get to look at this all summer :)
Monday, June 4, 2012
And so it begins...
Tomorrow my summer journey begins. I leave for the great state of Colorado for the next 2 months, goodbye Texas heat, I won't miss you!!!! I have the opportunity to serve through Go Now Missions as a summer missionary in Ft. Collins/Loveland Colorado, where I will be working with several different church planters.
I have been fervently trying to spiritually prepare for this journey, and needless to say there were still some points in the last few weeks where I had moments of feeling inadequate. But I was immediately comforted in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 where it says “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." It doesn't matter how prepared I feel or not, God will use me despite of my failings, He will still be glorified if I can't remember a certain verse reference or if I flub something up in my testimony. He is not dependent on me, I will be used to His glory regardless of my imperfections. Whoo! That definitely takes some of the pressure off :) However, That is not an excuse for me to be stagnant in my spiritual growth, but rather it is a reason for me to feel adequate THROUGH Christ.
Following Jesus isn't about trying harder, it's about resting harder. If we're honest though, the latter is the more difficult one. Fortunately, I can confidently say that I am resting in my Jesus as I take this step this summer. I'm striving for my reliance on God’s guidance to be radical and selfless and bold. I want to redefine what this world says is possible and rewrite the books of possibility in His name. I want to wake up every morning and say to God, “USE ME! Use me however You need. Use me in whatever capacity, with whatever challenges, and under whatever scrutiny You know that I can handle. Fill me with Your limitless strength and energy and use me as Your tool!”
Be praying for the preparation of hearts, and the willingness of minds as I enter into this special time of ministry this summer. Be praying for my own heart as I grow and depend more heavily on Jesus. Pray for boldness. Pray for humility. I can't wait to see how God moves this summer, I will be updating weekly with stories and prayer requests. Love y'all.
I have been fervently trying to spiritually prepare for this journey, and needless to say there were still some points in the last few weeks where I had moments of feeling inadequate. But I was immediately comforted in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 where it says “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." It doesn't matter how prepared I feel or not, God will use me despite of my failings, He will still be glorified if I can't remember a certain verse reference or if I flub something up in my testimony. He is not dependent on me, I will be used to His glory regardless of my imperfections. Whoo! That definitely takes some of the pressure off :) However, That is not an excuse for me to be stagnant in my spiritual growth, but rather it is a reason for me to feel adequate THROUGH Christ.
Following Jesus isn't about trying harder, it's about resting harder. If we're honest though, the latter is the more difficult one. Fortunately, I can confidently say that I am resting in my Jesus as I take this step this summer. I'm striving for my reliance on God’s guidance to be radical and selfless and bold. I want to redefine what this world says is possible and rewrite the books of possibility in His name. I want to wake up every morning and say to God, “USE ME! Use me however You need. Use me in whatever capacity, with whatever challenges, and under whatever scrutiny You know that I can handle. Fill me with Your limitless strength and energy and use me as Your tool!”
Be praying for the preparation of hearts, and the willingness of minds as I enter into this special time of ministry this summer. Be praying for my own heart as I grow and depend more heavily on Jesus. Pray for boldness. Pray for humility. I can't wait to see how God moves this summer, I will be updating weekly with stories and prayer requests. Love y'all.
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